So... I'm sure you CAN guess what it is I want to tell you. If not, I'll give you a few hints first.
-EXHAUSTED doesn't even begin to describe what I've been the last few weeks.
-The smell of my shampoo makes me want to SPEW!
-I have worse acne than I EVER did all throughtout high school...
-I could eat an animal style cheeseburger from In&Out anytime, day or night.
-I can CRY at the drop of a hat. Especially movies with any measurement of a sentimental moment... (I may or may not have bawled at the end of Tangled the other day... Pathetic.)
-I've got a frumpy little pooch that's starting to appear in my abdominal area...
Yeeeeesssssss................. :)
If you guessed that I am pregnant, you would be CORRECT!!!:D
That fuzzy little white spot is
OUR
Baby #3!
We are so excited!!! This pregnancy has been especially hard for me to keep to myself... I don't know if it has to do with this one being planned or not, but I've wanted to make this announcement pretty much since the day we first found out!:)
I am about 8 1/2 weeks now so still not too far along. We had the first ultrasound yesterday & Baby's growth is right on track to my original due date, which is
APRIL 23, 2012!:)
We were able to see our grape-size baby love & hear his/her little heart beating for the first time. So fast & strong... 170 bpm, to be exact. (I hope that means we're having a girl! But that very well could be mostly wives tale because Drake's was 165... We'll see. Either way, I'll be a happy mommy!) That is honestly one of my very favorite moments as a mother, with all 3 of my babies now- hearing their hearts beat for the first time. Such an undescribable feeling!
So yes... This baby was planned- a first for us!:) If you had told me at the beginning of this year that I would be pregnant again by the last bit of this year, I would have smacked you, called you crazy, & told you to bite your tongue! But the Lord does work in mysterious ways... Especially with the sweet, gentle promptings of the Holy Ghost!:)
At the beginning of the year, we were doing a session at the temple. During which time, I got the destinct impression, "Get ready. Another will be coming soon." I'm not gonna lie- at that moment, I wanted to cry. And not exactly tears of joy, either. When I told Shane about it, the look of fear on his face told me he felt the same way! I was so not at a good place physically, mentally, & emotionally at that time where I was okay with this happening again soon. Especially emotionally...
I've been dealing for a long time with feeling guilty about being "Fertile Myrtle," beeing able to conceive so easily when I have quite a few friends who want nothing more than to HAVE a baby and be parents... And here I am, having to take triple precautions, at times, NOT to get pregnant. This was especially hard after I found out I was pregnant with Jax & one of my best friends had just miscarried a few months earlier. I was so sad for her & frustrated with why I could get pregant so easily & unexpectadly when I knew of her & plenty of others that wanted such a blessing... As much as I sympathized for them, I was looking at MY situation from the completely wrong perspective.
I am so grateful to be a mother & acknowledge that I am so blessed to have a body where I can carry & deliver healthy babies. I am so VERY grateful for my children- Born & unborn, surprises & planned:) They are all blessings in our lives and Shane & I know how lucky we are to have these sweet spirits to love & raise. I, for the most part, have gotten over that feeling of guilt, because those kinds of things are out of our hands. I still deeply sympathize with those friends and my heart goes out to them that are hurting. I can & do keep hoping & praying for them that they will soon have the dream of being parents come true, which I do with all my heart. Names are added to the prayer roll every trip to the temple I take... So friends that I am talking about, whether you think I'm aware of you or not, know that there ARE thoughts & prayers being offered up in your behalf for your peace & comfort, and that you may one day be blessed with little ones of your own.
SO... that was a BIG thing I had to work on in order to accept the possible arrival of another baby. And every time we went to the temple, I kept getting the same impression, only a little stronger each time. So then I started working on my state of mind... Something I am reluctant to go into great detail about:D
I was sure I was crazy- as I'm sure every mother has felt at one point or another in their life. So, among other things, I started to make a concious effort to be more patient with my boys and appreciate the "little moments" I have with them... I tell ya, I am so in love with my babies!!! Those moments when Jax comes up to me out of the blue and gives me a kiss. Or when Drake is sweetly singing one of the many movie songs he knows. Or when I'm doing something & from across the room or house, I can hear those 2 munchkins making each other laugh.... AH! I have just learned to appreciate it so much more & let those things FAR outweigh the messes & the temper tantrums. And it has made SUCH a difference in our lives! Not to say that we don't still have our bad days, but it sure makes dealing with those bad days a bit easier.
Physically speaking, I was having to go to physical therapy to work on my stomach & back... (I have the back of a 40 year old! No joke...) Of all of these things, that was honestly probably the easiest to work on:) My back still is not quite 100%... I threw it out a couple of weeks ago:( But oh well. I just gotta take it easy. Anyone have any input on chiropractic care during pregnancy? Or message therapy? Or a combination of both? It's the only things I haven't tried but am oh so willing to at this point!
So yes... All those things worked on, I started getting baby hungry around July... And much to the credit of some of my friends with adorable & sweet babies, I believe I am ready... Ha! Well, ready or not now, right?:) It's just been a different experience being able to plan this one. I definitely think it's made a difference in my attitude (Shane might beg to differ!;)) I just mean in the way that I approached things, like the nausea or exhaustion. I welcome it:) Ok, maybe not WELCOME it, haha... But I try not to complain about it because I know what's causing it. And that's one thing I'm resolving to do throughout this whole pregnancy. I don't know if I complained a lot with Drake or Jaxon, but I know I just didn't appreciate the experiences as much, which I guess is my real ressolve. I'm blessed to have this experience and I will not be taking it for granted. :)
